From time to time, we may notice that our current or traditional patterns of thinking obstruct our view of the future we desire.
When these concerns are very troublesome (e.g. one comes to believe that s/he has a present that cannot be accepted or a past that cannot be repaired), it is prudent to seek the support of a mental health professional.
When disharmony in our relationships, dissatisfaction with career, financial challenges or other roadblocks are distracting rather than disabling, it may be useful to discover how these concerns may be interfering or holding you back. How are resentments (a lack of forgiveness of others) and guilt (a lack of forgiveness of ourselves) blocking our view? In what ways are things we don’t forgive or don’t speak about continuing to affect us and impede our progress?
Forgiveness is a way to complete the past. It is a form of release. It is for you, not for anyone else. Learning to forgive others and yourself and the events of the past can make more room for all the good things that you want, which include fulfilling your goals and desires.
“Does forgiving someone mean that I accept the bad things done to me?” No. Nor does it mean that you have an ongoing relationship with the person or remain in the situation. Forgiveness means moving beyond the resentment and guilt. It is like erasing the writing board full of negatives from the past so you can make room to write your new goals and intentions.
Are there nagging concerns from the past that are affecting your present? Would it be useful to assess your level of freedom from resentment and guilt? Would it empower you to learn a skill to help you release resentment and guilt?
Inquiry: Allow some quiet time to complete the following exercise to further explore the concept of forgiveness. Be gentle with yourself and, if you deem necessary, please seek professional help.
Recall a time when positive connection with yourself, another person or organization was blocked.
- Observe yourself as if you are on a TV monitor or movie screen.
- Recall what happened, who was there, what was done and/or said.